August 9, 2016

Meet Dolly and Balder

Meet Dolly!

Full Name: Thistle Dolores Inanity of the K’nic-k’nack Tribe
Appearance: K’nic-k’nack goblins somewhat resemble goats. Thus, Dolly’s ears are long and floppy, her feet are cloven hooves, and she is covered in very fine honey-colored hair. Her best feature, she has been told, is her eyes, which are yellow with sideways, bean-shaped pupils.
Likes: History, tea, pottery, herbalism, animals
Dislikes: Being clumsy all the time, thieves, people who think history is boring, violence
Occupation: Guardian of Pandemonium's reposeum (it's like a cross between a repository and a museum) 
Favorite Food: Kyo cheese
Spirit Animal: Fainting goat
Spirit Vegetable: Turnip
Little Known Fact: In her youth, she caused a giant dodo stampede. Before then, the K’nic-k’nack Tribe didn’t know that giant dodos could stampede.

She's grinding herbs for a potion.

Dolly’s tribe dwells in the Tumult Mountains on the sub-continent of Pandamonium. Though many K’nic-k’nackians are content to herd giant dodos or collect herbs, Dolly has always had an academic bent. As a child, she studied everything there was to know about her tribe’s magic, which is controlled through verbal focus and the use of wands and staffs, as well as many useful (and sometimes clandestine) potions. Unfortunately, Dolly is also the most klutzy K’nic-k’nackian in recent memory, and her magic and potions (as well as her daily routine), tend to lead to more disasters than most of her tribe would find acceptable.

Currently, Dolly is in charge of the museum/repository/storehouse that sits atop Mount Tumult. The reposeum, as she has dubbed it, holds artifacts from across Pandemonium. Dolly loves being around such precious objects, and takes her job as Guardian very seriously. Still, it would be a nice change of pace if someone would actually visit the reposeum… someday…

Meet Balder!

Full Name: Balder Dottiness Spleenbeck
Appearance: Balder is short, even for a Gremlin, and stands at only two feet tall. His skin is grey and his face is dog-like, with a ridiculously large mouth. One could say that this counterbalances his uselessly small wings, but the two really have nothing to do with each other.
Likes: Violence, the sound of his own voice, flying (well, he assumes he would like it if he ever got to do it), machines, pickles
Dislikes: Styx, humans, law enforcement, lace curtains, having a girly middle name
Occupation: Criminal
Favorite Food: Giant dodo meat
Spirit Animal: Chihuahua
Spirit Vegetable: Heirloom Pumpkin
Little Known Fact: The bomber jacket he wears belonged to his father, who fought in the Stuff-Greml War as a grenadier. Goblins from across Ataxia simply call grenadiers “bombers” and thus their uniforms—black leather jackets—are called bomber jackets. This is in no relation to the bomber jacket you or I might think of (and it’s certainly not a clever ret-con so that I could keep a gag about bomber jackets in Miscast Spells, despite having no bomber planes…)

So dramatic!

Balder Spleenbeck has been running amok across Ataxia for decades. Gremlins are a generally unscrupulous bunch, but even they think Spleenbeck goes too far. With crimes ranging from kidnapping to arson to bank theft (which is the crime of stealing a bank), there is probably not a more wanted and disliked goblin alive. On the other hand, once one of his schemes comes to fruition and he is bathed in the lime-light of infamy, he tends to lose focus and run off before he can do too much damage. Plus, the little guy has a tendency to get caught, and holds the world record for most instances of imprisonment (48!). This does not equate to the most time served, since Spleenbeck’s small size and indomitable personality have allowed him to break out time and time again.

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